Whose opinions are more important to you than God’s? “People pleasing”… no one wants to do it. Sometimes we are painfully aware of it. Too many times, we are not.
When we do things or say things to please people, it’s like we’ve put them in our personal “jury box”. Anytime we’ve given someone a seat in our “jury box” we’ve given someone the power to determine our worth. One of the amazing characteristics of Jesus Christ is that he kept his “jury box” empty. How can we follow Jesus’ example by keeping our “jury box” empty?
I’ve been a Christian for almost forty years, and yet the internal pressure to say and do things to gain others approval still persists. While being affirmed by others or earning another’s respect is a blessing, people pleasing depletes our joy and robs us of our authenticity.
Narcissists don’t struggle with people pleasing; the rest of us do
For some, their “jury box” may be full of people. For others, it may be a few, but those few might hold tremendous power over our life. One of the amazing characteristics of Jesus Christ is that he kept his “jury box” empty. How can we follow Jesus’ example by keeping our “jury box” empty?
Emptying our “jury box” takes self-awareness. I can tell that I’ve put someone in my “jury box” when…
- I can’t let go of proving my point.
- I don’t own my mistakes.
- I own mistakes that aren’t mine.
- I avoid confronting someone about something that needs to be addressed.
- I continually overthink conversations.
- I won’t say “no” and allow someone else to determine my priorities.
- I’m compelled to “one-up” someone in words or actions.
How about you? Who’s sitting in your jury box? Are there people whose voices have replaced God’s opinion about who you are and how you are to live? It could be a boss or a client… It could be a spouse, a family member, a pastor, or a friend.
Allowing others to be “jurors” in my life supplants God as Lord of my life. When I allow another person’s words, body language, or even their silence to control my actions, reactions, or priorities, then fear has replaced my freedom in Christ.
Notice the incredible example that even Jesus’ critics had this to say about him. “Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren’t swayed by others because you pay no attention to who they are, but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth.” (Mark 12:14 NIV).
People tried desperately to get into Jesus’ jury box… even his family members. Yet, Jesus’ identity was so secure in His heavenly Father’s love, that he allowed no one to be his “juror”. May we follow his example. Join me today and let’s empty our “jury box”.
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” (Prov. 29:25 NIV)